In honor of tax day, I am posting about working.
These are some jobs I would like to have. And get paid for. Because I pretty much already do them, I just don’t get paid.
You know how there are people who — with a straight face – say their job is “life coach” or “pet whisperer” or “ghost hunter.” There’s a whole industry devoted to teaching companies how to innovate: essentially, how to think.
A writing coach would be no more ridiculous than any of these.
There are lots of people who want to write, not for money or fame, but just as a means of self-expression. As adults, we shed the easy creativity of childhood. We feel embarrassed to draw, to paint, to fiddle with blocks or Lego and we are glad that as parents or aunts and uncles, we have the “excuse” to sit on the floor and release that creative energy. But it is always within us. A writing coach could help unleash that and guide it.
I want to be a contract teacher. I want to go into schools, elementary through high school, as a guest lecturer and speak about the subjects I am immersed in and passionate about. Things like medieval history, poetry, Old English, writing and publishing, Shakespeare, and the law. With my expertise, I can give the students a much broader, much richer experience with the material they are studying than their classroom teacher can.
I have done this many times on a volunteer basis. I have spoken to three separate classes about poetry, to two classes about writing and revising a novel and the publishing process, to two classes about Old English and its impact on our modern language (my favorite nugget: why Wednesday is spelled as it is) and to one class on Beowulf (“waes se grimma gast Grendel haten…”). I spent a half an hour last week talking with a middle school group about the legal process in connection with a novel they were reading.
The teachers love it, the kids love it, and I love it.
There are so many parents who could offer similar expertise in math, science, social science, history, and the arts. Our education system simply doesn’t take advantage of this well enough, even on a volunteer basis. It absolutely should have a paid program such as I am describing.
I want to name the colors for a paint manufacturer. You know, “Purple Sky” and “Tile Roof” and “Ice Cream Melting In The Sun.” Or the unbelievably inappropriate “Sexy Lingerie” my daughter discovered; how do we explain THAT one to our young girls who just want a pretty pink room?
The color of the trim in my house should be called “Dirty.” Even when it’s clean.
Any great made up jobs you’d love to have?